Finding my way back...

I started this blog back in May, wrote a few posts, then abandoned it. I guess that's okay though. I don't have any followers so I suppose the only person i've dissapointed by not writing is myself.

This past semester was a tough one but I think I got through it alright. I'm sure math dragged my GPA down some but i'm not too worried about that, as long as I passed the class (which I hope I did). Well, it's over now and I'll find out soon enough.

Things have not been good as far as writing. I wrote a couple pieces for my creative essay class that turned out alright... but that's just it. If it wasn't for the class I probably wouldn't have written them.

So, what to do?

School is almost over for me, I have one full semester in the spring then I'm done. I know that I want to publish, so why won't I write? I don't know. I know that I can write, and I think I can write well enough to eventually publish. What's stopping me?

I think i'm genre confused, for one thing. I always imagined that I would write fantasy. Over the past couple of years though I haven't written much of that at all. I think that I've discovered that I like to write about real-life things. Not necessarily my own life, just life; people.

Still, when I sit down to write something, I have it in my head that I want to write fantasy because I like it and I miss it, but then nothing comes to mind. I sit and think for a minute, and then I go do something else.

It shouldn't be this hard. It never use to be. Maybe the story I'm meant to write isn't fantasy. Or maybe instead of thinking about it so much I should just sit down and write something and not think about what it will turn out to be. I've never been really successful at that though. I think too much, and I think that's my problem.

I really want to start a project over this break and follow through. It would feel so good to write again and let the words fall freely without hesitation or grief over why I write them or what they should be or what they will become. I want to fall in love with it and be obsessed again, like I used to be. I never used to think about it in terms of whether or not it will be successful writing, I just did it, and loved doing it.

I need to get to that place again... how do I get there?