Holiday Indulging

Christmas has come and gone, and in my usual holiday enthusiasm I ate a lot of food. Cookies, cheese, pepperoni, bread, chips and dip... it was all delicious. But now it's time to buckle down and work off some of the excess weight i've gained between thanksgiving and now.
When I say work I mean literally (as in excercise) but I also mean diet. It doesn't take long to get used to eating all that junk. Now that i've indulged it's time to work some fruit and veggies back into my diet and lay off the carbs.
I do this every year, and I really think it's all the holiday indulging more than the new years resolution thing. I get to the point where I start gaining weight and feeling uncomfortable then I think 'well, time to change it up.' I usually get back down to a comfortable weight but never where I really want to be. I would really like to do that this time around.
For me, excercise isn't the problem. I've fallen out of it but once I get motivated and back in the gym I usually get myself to like it and look forward to going. For me it's the food. I have little will power when it comes to eating and I love all the bad, fattening things. The excercise and slightly better eating usually sheds a few pounds, but once I get back into the swing of things I hope to be a little more sucessful than that.
Of course, with the new year comes a few more things i'd like to accomplish other than just weight loss. There is the ever-present problem of writers block that I would like to over come. Though at this point I think I should just admit to myself that it's not really writers block, it's just laziness. I have taken mondays off of both of my jobs, and hope to use it as a day set aside specifically for writing. I hope to generate some sort of work before the next semester roles around.
Then there is the fact that I will be graduating. With one semester left (and then only one summer class after that) I will finally have my degree. Though that's great and it's been a long time coming, it brings about its own sort of problems. Student loans for one thing, and the fact that I have no idea what I will do with my newly aquired bachelors degree in english... where exactly does that take a person?
It will be an interesting year... and I slightly scary one. However I am optimistic and hope to make the best of it.

Finding my way back...

I started this blog back in May, wrote a few posts, then abandoned it. I guess that's okay though. I don't have any followers so I suppose the only person i've dissapointed by not writing is myself.

This past semester was a tough one but I think I got through it alright. I'm sure math dragged my GPA down some but i'm not too worried about that, as long as I passed the class (which I hope I did). Well, it's over now and I'll find out soon enough.

Things have not been good as far as writing. I wrote a couple pieces for my creative essay class that turned out alright... but that's just it. If it wasn't for the class I probably wouldn't have written them.

So, what to do?

School is almost over for me, I have one full semester in the spring then I'm done. I know that I want to publish, so why won't I write? I don't know. I know that I can write, and I think I can write well enough to eventually publish. What's stopping me?

I think i'm genre confused, for one thing. I always imagined that I would write fantasy. Over the past couple of years though I haven't written much of that at all. I think that I've discovered that I like to write about real-life things. Not necessarily my own life, just life; people.

Still, when I sit down to write something, I have it in my head that I want to write fantasy because I like it and I miss it, but then nothing comes to mind. I sit and think for a minute, and then I go do something else.

It shouldn't be this hard. It never use to be. Maybe the story I'm meant to write isn't fantasy. Or maybe instead of thinking about it so much I should just sit down and write something and not think about what it will turn out to be. I've never been really successful at that though. I think too much, and I think that's my problem.

I really want to start a project over this break and follow through. It would feel so good to write again and let the words fall freely without hesitation or grief over why I write them or what they should be or what they will become. I want to fall in love with it and be obsessed again, like I used to be. I never used to think about it in terms of whether or not it will be successful writing, I just did it, and loved doing it.

I need to get to that place again... how do I get there?